How to Choose Between the Ever Present Dilemma of Motherhood and Career

  • Team Kidmish Jun 25, 2018

Motherhood is the most rewarding aspect of a woman’s life, even though it is a thankless job for the most part. The pure joy of playing with your child and watching them hit their ‘first’ milestones is a feeling mothers wouldn’t exchange for anything in the world. But it comes at a price.

Unlike men, women have to stand at the crossroads and choose between career and motherhood. Work gives most women a sense of accomplishment, not to mention a steady income, and that is the reason they bear through the monotonous routine of their daily jobs. But all expecting mothers have a critical choice to make that defines their sense of identity going forward. Women have to walk the plank between having a steady, fulfilling job and being a loving mother. The decision, unfortunately, isn’t an easy one and often leaves women with regrets one way or the other.

At the end of the day, each woman has to weigh her options and decide on how to prioritize her family and career. We will enlist the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home mom in order to help every woman make an informed decision.

The Pros:

One childhood

The fact that your young one gets only one childhood, without retakes, seals the deal for most new mothers. The first few years of motherhood involves a selfless attitude, 24-hour long duties with little nap time. But the rewards of witnessing your child grow in front of your eyes is unparallel.

Make time for loved ones

Most people will agree that your job takes up all of your energy and time, without any respite. Being a stay-at-home mom gives you the opportunity to manage your day’s work (rather than the other way round) and leaves you with some time with yourself and also to make arrangements with your family and friends.

Follow your passions

Although work gives you a sense of self-worth, it does come in the way of your other passions. A regular 9 to 5 job leaves you with no time to take dancing lessons or learn baking as once hoped. Leaving the professional life behind opens the door for you to pursue such interests.

The Cons:

Financial feasibility

One of the primary things to consider while leaving your profession for motherhood is that you are parting with a steady income. As such, you become reliant on your husband’s salary to run the entire house. With the current state of the economy and the sky-rocketing expenditure of raising a child, the first thing to consider is affordability.

Dependence on your partner

As you will no longer be an earning member of the family, you will have to be reliant on your partner. In the event of a worst-case scenario, where your husband is no longer working, or in the case of a divorce, you will have to rebuild your career and get re-assimilated into the work life, which is easier said than done.  

Loss of self-identity

Women who find themselves at home full-time, to take care of their little ones, often centre their lives around them. Difficulties arise when their identity gets enmeshed with their husband and children. It leaves them with a sense of void that an external person cannot fulfil.

Being a full-time parent, like any other role in life has its own set of challenges. If you do decide to turn into a stay-at-home mom, the pointers below will help you keep your head above water during those hard-to-miss dismal days.

As kids grow up, they become less dependent on you, and you should explore this opportunity to discover new possibilities. It brings a new level of excitement to your life when there is something to look forward to. By leading a self-dependent life, you teach your kids to forge their own identity and search for self-fulfilment in productive ways.

Additionally, the digital world that we live in today offers young mothers many options that were not available say, decades ago. Working from home as a freelancer will give you proximity to your little ones and also pockets of free time, when your child is taking a nap or at school, to get into work mode.

In the end, being a full-time mom, where your professional circles are dwindling, needs to be counterbalanced with productive activities done for yourself. Stay in touch with your ex-workplace and keep your social life thriving. That way, you get a taste of both the worlds and do not regret choosing one over the other.

Concluding Remarks

As is the case with everything in life, balance is the key. For women who have worked decades after leaving college, being a stay-at-home mom may look like a greener patch of grass and offer a much-needed respite from the corporate world. Others may feel differently. Additionally, our corporate culture needs to be more inclusive keeping in mind the rising demands of new parents. The best case scenario would be when companies provide mothers with enough breathing space so as to not neglect their duties as a care provider. With professional reforms, a situation should be created where women look at motherhood as an option rather than a choice.

We would love to hear your personal experience about choosing motherhood overwork or otherwise. Do sound off in the comments section and let us know how your decision has impacted your life in the long run.

Until then, Happy Parenting!

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